"Resilience is Genetic": A Foster Care Worker on Mental Health, Sobriety, and Second Chances

For five years, Megan worked in the heart of New York City's foster care system - supporting families through some of the most painful and pivotal moments of their lives. A former nursing major who shifted paths after witnessing her own mother’s struggle with addiction and mental illness, Megan brings a rare blend of empathy and lived experience to her work. In this interview, she opens up about what recovery really looks like, the misconceptions surrounding foster care, and why she believes resilience is just as powerful—and just as generational—as trauma.

💬 On why she chose foster care:

“Parents are able to take care of their children with the skills they already have. But it's rewarding to help empower families build upon those skills.”

Megan says she doesn’t “fix” families. She supports them as they work on themselves, and she’s witnessed their transformations firsthand.

🗣️ On misconceptions about the system:

“The positive stories are not what people talk about when it comes to foster care.”

There’s a common misconception that once a child is taken away, they’re gone for good - adopted out to a stranger, never to see their parents again. But Megan sees a different reality every day: families growing, reconnecting, and reuniting after doing the work.

“A lot of the time, the parents are able to build upon the skills that they already have and are able to be reunited with their kids after a period of time.”

💞 On relapse and reunion:

One mother Megan worked with struggled to stay sober, and her family was separated again. But this time, with support, structure, and purpose, the mother slowly rebuilt her sobriety. Through inpatient rehab and supervised visits, she stayed close to her child and committed to growth.

“Once she was able to show that she was gaining knowledge and insight into why the family was separated, we were able to reunite them.”

💪 On mental illness and motivation:

Another mother faced mental health struggles alongside her child. Despite everything, she never missed a visit. She prioritized her son’s needs. She showed up.

“The mom was her biggest advocate. She never gave up. She showed that she was able to prioritize the needs of her child and was willing to do whatever it took to be reunited with her child.”

Their bond held strong, and eventually, they reunited.

🌼 On lessons from her mom:

Megan’s story is personal. Her own family was separated when she was a teenager. Her mother was battling substance use and mental illness. But she fought her way back, returned to school, became a nurse, and showed Megan the power of resilience.

“I know that prioritizing myself is important because that's what she taught me. And making sure that I'm taking care of myself first before I take care of other people.”

🧠 On seeking help and stigma:

Megan is honest about the system’s flaws: overworked staff, under-resourced cases, and families slipping through the cracks. But stigma remains one of the biggest barriers, especially for women of color.

“It appears that they are expected to just endure whatever they're going through and not make a big fuss about it, which isn't fair because mental illness doesn't discriminate.”

She pays close attention to red flags in children: isolation, emotional shutdowns, frequent conflict at home, and makes sure they’re getting the support they need, whether that’s therapy, screening, or extra care.

✍️ Her go-to advice:

Megan reminds her clients, and herself, of the basics:

• Make a daily gratitude list (even if it’s just “I had a good cup of coffee.”)
• Journal your thoughts.
• Use positive self-talk.
• Meditate.
• Most importantly: Never give up.

“I always tell my clients that if they never give up, then things will work in their favor. And I believe that full-heartedly. If you give it your all, you're going to get the results that you're seeking. And I use that in my everyday life too.”

🧑‍🧑‍🧒‍🧒 Her final thoughts:

“When you think about families that have generational trauma or substance use, you might think, ‘Oh, this is genetic.’

But the resiliency is genetic as well. It shows that the family has made it this far with all the trauma, all the substance use, but they're able to keep carrying on, and they're doing the best that they can in the best way that they can.”

💡 Why this matters:

Foster care is often painted as a story of separation and loss. But Megan’s work tells a different one of healing, reconnection, and resilience. A story where relapse doesn’t mean failure, and recovery is not a destination, but a journey.

🌤️ If you needed to hear this today:

Healing may be hard, but it’s possible.

And sometimes, the work we do in the dark is what brings us back into the light.

With love,

Your Sober Sister